After My Departure
by CombineGLaDOS
Summary: post walking dead season one. What happened to Lilly after she was abandoned at the roadside? *spoilers* Purposefully OOC. T for language. Oneshot


**A/N: ok, so this story is seriously half arsed, but I recently got into the walking dead as in the TV show, and I've played through the game twice so why not? **

**Oh and this is entirely from Lilly's perspective :)**

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I'm crazy. I'm fucking crazy.

It's been 6 maybe 7 months since the group I was in charge of took off without me. I didn't even do anything wrong, all I did was get rid of the stupid bitch who was trying to get us all killed.

I walked and ran from the walkers for the first couple weeks. I was starving, injured, out of ammo. I was dead.

That's when I came across a young couple, Bryce and Lara.

They were nice and seemed very considerate, said they help those who they come across and let them tag along for a while. Hell, they gave me a full meal, healed me up and gave me some ammo. But after the last group, no way was I waiting around to get abandoned again, so I took off that night.

That seemed the best way to live for a while, so that's all I did. Turn up, get myself back to peak condition and leave. However, I soon realised it wasn't enough; every time I turned up I was starved and injured. What if I never found another group? Another camp? What if I did find one that was fresh out of supplies? So I started to 'borrow' a few things...not a lot, just enough to keep me going between groups, a week or so's supplies. It was like being a bandit, looking out for myself and myself alone...maybe that's how it should be these days...be bad and live or be good and die.

Even so, as the apocalypse got worse, more people died, and less people to look for supplies for me meant less food and meds, so I took the next logical step: Take everything.

I'm not a bandit, I swear! I hate those vultures; I was taking stuff to survive, but they just steal.

The groups that I stole from never came after me, maybe the bandits killed them or walkers got them but who cares, every time I got away with what I was doing...almost.

I was clearing out the rest of the ammo when Breen, this elderly woman in the group I was looting from caught me. Useful things, silencers, draw very little attention from unwanted people or things.

Killing is very strange in the beginning. Walkers are dead anyway and bandits get killed all the time, but killing a sane human being? That's something else.

The first normal human I killed was Carley, a reporter from WABE and the person who was giving supplies to the bandits. Actually that might have been Ben...both of them but who cares? Long story short, it shocked me...Carley didn't fall like a walker or fight like a bandit, she just sorta spun round as her brain left her skull. The same happened with Breen, the shock wasn't as harsh but it was still there.

That's when and how I realised I wouldn't be able to get away with this forever, I had to kill people to survive. So what if I'm a bandit? At least I'm not dead.

Killing soon gets easier though; a month ago I couldn't look at anyone innocent in the eye with the intent to kill but now even a crying four year old is just another life helping to hoard what I need. In this age everyone is a walking corpse, not just the walkers. Not just the very thing I'm about to become...

I never thought I would get cornered in a gas station surrounded by walkers...

Death is the only way out...a bullet to the head sounds pretty good, but I can't kill her, she's scared; how can I kill Lilly if she's so terrified? Because I'm a bandit, I need to die! I need to get eaten alive by the walkers! But what about Lilly, she isn't a disgusting bandit, she deserves a less painful suicide, to see her dad again. Wait, Dad will hate me, I killed everyone, he won't want me, he'll think I'm a bandit but I'm not.

Great, walkers are in, it's now our never for the bullet Lilly.

I'm not crazy, Lilly. You're not fucking crazy Lilly.

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**A/N: was that confusing? Good, it was supposed to be.**

**Basically, Lilly became schizophrenic, more so in the end.**


End file.
